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FUBAR have managed to convince football’s perennial bad-boy and self-professed intellectual Joey Barton to EXCLUSIVELY preview the weekend’s football action. Turns out he didn’t need too much convincing. A Morrissey album and an engraved knuckle duster did the trick. Over to you Joey:

Rangers have suspended me for slapping another mouthy jock prick. I swear they bread them up here or something…

Yes, we will get around to talking about football and all that but if I had a choice I would prefer to address socio-politico views, austerity, mod culture and my new acting role in Fight Club 2.

Anyway, I hear that knob-wimp Willian won’t be playing for Chelsea against Hull this weekend because his mum has passed away. That kid must be joking… Growing up in Liverpool we didn’t have mums so I don’t know what the boy is upset about. A good old cigarette burn on the arm will sort him out a gooden’

I was having a drink with Paul Weller down the tavern last night and he told me Swansea City’s new manager Bob Bradley will be the first American to manage in the Premier League as his side take on Arsenal. The less said about that the better. Fuck off Yankie Doodle. He didn’t even put on a fake French accent when he was managing Le Harve. No commitment.

Aguero may or may not be fit for Man City this weekend. SHOCK! Probably still rolling around after I gave that sucker a dead leg. Pussy.

Troy Deeney can score his 100th goal for Watford when they take on Middlesbrough on Sunday. I’ve got a lot of time for Troy. We are very similar characters. Both like to fuck shit up occasionally, hugely talented players, massively underrated and both had our run-ins with the bobbies. Southgate will never pick him for England because he hasn’t got straight teeth. Fucking mug.

Obviously the big one is United v Liverpool. As student’s of the game Klopp and Mourinho could learn a thing or two and I’m more than happy to be their shoulder to lean on. Neither of them have crunched Robbie Savage in the middle of the park. Neither of them have put somebody in hospital and neither of them have used a teammate as an ashtray. They’ve got a lot to learn about the Premier League, I’m telling ya!

A big thanks to Joey and his overtly opinionated opinions. FUBAR Radio will be LIVE in the press box at the Arsenal v Swansea City match. For live reaction to the game follow us on TWITTER.

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