Having had two inaugurations for his 2 term presidency, Barack Obama has had the likes of Beyonce, Kelly Clarkson & Aretha Franklin perform for him.
Unsurprisingly, no one has offered to perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration.
Don’t worry though Trump, FUBAR has got you covered with a list of suitable performers to help you out…
1. Honey G
After she forgot the words to her Missy Elliot cover on Good Morning Britain this week Honey G is probably looking for some work along with her dignity.
(Disclaimer: this in no way suggests that Honey G had any dignity to begin with).
2. Peter Andre & Katie Price
Who can forget watching Peter & Jordan fall in love right in front of our eyes on Series 3 of I’m A Celebrity… to then giving us this beautiful performance on Children in Need?
Most of the British public were in need after that.
3. The Left Shark
As Trump is struggling with finding someone suitable to perform, how about an already established national treasure that made quite a splash on the biggest stage of all, the Superbowl.
This one you would only have to bribe with a bit of cod & scampi.
4. Paris Hilton
This one might be a throwback that we have forgotten, (and probably want to avoid remembering) but when you can’t get any current popular musicians to perform at the biggest event of your life why not try returning to some poisonous pop music from an old family friend.
5. Adele’s Bat Invader
The bat that invaded Adele’s concert in Mexico greeted her ever so kindly to the country so it would be a beautiful gesture to welcome Donald Trump to his presidency.
Of course, it would have to get past that wall though, so…
6. One Pound Fish Man
This internet sensation fell off the radar after his X Factor hit so we think he’d be looking for work and this might just be the job for him.
Except he’s not a wealthy, white American so Trump probably wouldn’t go for it. Sorry mate.
7. Rebecca Black
Why not pair America’s most hated President with America’s most hated song?
Rebecca Black performing her 2011 hit ‘Friday’, also known as the third most disliked video on YouTube, would be the perfect match for a Trump celebration.
8. Madonna
Over the years, we have learnt it doesn’t take much for Madonna to not only embarrass herself and her children but the whole world through her provocative antics.
That’s why, political affiliations aside, she’d probably jump at the chance to do this on the world stage attracting the most attention possible to her elderly twerking and inappropriate movements.
9. Justin Bieber
Asking Justin Bieber to perform only for him to storm off stage as usual would be too much of a gift to Donald Trump.
So, FUBAR suggests that Justin Bieber takes one for the team and performs an entire set, encore and everything, just to make Trump endure the Bieber shit show before he carries on with his own as POTUS.
10. Kanye West
Well, they’re best friends now aren’t they?
