In one of the few good news stories of the year, Prostate Cancer can be cured by ocean bacteria!
Results of a clinical trial using bacteria found at the bottom of the ocean to treat the early stages of prostate cancer have produced remarkable results, with nearly half of all patients showing no traces of cancer after treatment.
Undoubtedly this is great news, but it also had FUBAR wondering what other mysterious and miraculous things could be lurking on the seafloor. Here’s our list:
Kayne West’s Dignity
Some say that whatever shreds of dignity Kanye had left sunk to the bottom of the ocean after he posed with President-Elect Donald Trump just days after leaving a psychiatric facility, although he lost the majority of it a long, long time ago.
Donald Trump’s Real Hair
Speaking of the devil, some say that the Mr President-Elect’s real hair got up and left having grown tired of being attached to such a knob and now leads a peaceful life on the sea floor.
Nicolas Cage
After his meme popularity faded in 2016, some say that Nicolas can be found on the ocean floor staring at his own reflection for hours on end.
JFK’s Brain
This one does have actually some basis to it, as JFK’s brain is genuinely missing. Perhaps it is on the ocean floor. Who knows?
Taylor Swift’s Ex-Boyfriends
Some say Taylor Swift’s ex-boyfriends are all banished to the ocean floor for a minimum of 2 months after the relationship ends. Has anyone seen Tom Hiddleston recently? Harry Styles and the others all still have monthly meetings apparently.
Andy Murray’s personality
Some say the 3 time Sports Personality of the Year winner actually lost his personality years ago in a mix-up at an airport and never bothered chasing it up. Either way, we think its ended up on the ocean floor.
Miley Cyrus’ clothes
Some say Miley Cyrus dumped all her clothes in the ocean after growing tired of wearing them and hasn’t looked back since.
Cristiano Ronaldo’s modesty
The most egotistical man in the world was modest once, but he scored a wonder goal as a child and decided he was the greatest footballer to have ever existed as well as that, he has the physique of a Greek God that needs to be revealed as often as possible.
