It has been revealed that HMRC are chasing £2 billion in unpaid taxes.
Watchdog is pointing towards the super-rich as the culprits, and the National Audit Office has linked the figure to major tax avoidance schemes which aren’t being prevented.
Well rather than get irate, FUBAR has simply compiled a list of the top 5 things we’d spend all that money on.
1) A donation to Sainsbury’s.
More of a bribe than a donation. A solution to the new change we all hate… The dreadful meal deal! Give us back our wide range of tasty treats and sarnies! We will never get over this, it seems.
2) Pay off Simon Cowell.
We’d happily pay him to stop the X-Factor. Surely we’ve seen all we can see? Or alternatively, give a nice lump sum to the newspapers so they can stop reporting on the complete crap that is no longer ‘reality tv’ but a fixed game.
3) Conor McGregor.
We would use a big chunk of this lump sum to bring McGregor to FUBAR for a one off show. He can have any guests he wants and do whatever he wants. Minus fighting in the studio of course! The show would be hilarious. Wonder what music he would pick…
4) Prepare for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is the day we find out who’s the next president of the United States. It’s fair to say we are doomed either way. With two billion pounds we can set up camp in the Caribbean, we could get a rocket and go to mars… All in the name of avoiding an inevitable world war three. The possibilities are endless.
5) A desert island.
Not a dreamy place to relax. An isolated destination to dump all the tax avoiders as revenge. Richard Branson won’t even have to leave his home! Sorted.