10 reasons why Trump’s victory means we are fucked!

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1. Russia

Whilst we are glad Trump and Putin are best mates and we don’t have to worry about Hillary throwing a spanner in the works, will things actually be all peachy? Trump and Putin might be a match made in hell and decide world domination is key. America, the biggest world power, allying up with the most unpredictable and scary country AKA Russia, doesn’t sound the least bit good.

2. Trump doesn’t believe in global warming

He claims his tweets about global warming being a Chinese hoax was a joke but his other statements say otherwise. Donald openly admitted he wants to scrap all the major regulations that President Obama painstakingly put in place to reduce US carbon dioxide emissions, amongst many other things. So basically if his guns don’t kill us, pollution will.

3. He will definitely come visit the UK

Whether it’s a meeting with the PM or just a casual visit, he has a period of four years of which he can come over pretty much willy nilly. That is, unless Jeremy Corbyn becomes the next PM, then Trump can say goodbye to weekends away in Cornwall.

4. Nigel Farage

Farage (SOME HOW) still has power over the British public and him being pals with Trump definitely isn’t the right thing for the UK. We also don’t need another reason for him to come visit.

5. He won’t EVER escape from the media eye

For the entire time he’s in power, he will continue to do and say ridiculous things. The press will not ignore these words, they will be all we can read and hear online. Maybe we will become passive and not even batter an eye lid, just block it all out. After all, intense Trump media coverage has been happening for months already.

6. Racism and bigotry will run free

Donald Trump’s win tells people of color they aren’t welcome in America, and tells minorities across the world racism is alive and well. A man endorsed by the Ku Klux Klan has just been elected leader of the free world. In 2016.

7. The global economy will crash

In the midst of election results, the uncertainty of a Trump victory caused stock markets to fall dramatically. The world is in a fragile economic state eight years after the great financial crisis.  An irresponsible, ignorant man, in charge of the nation with the world’s most important economy could lead to a global recession with no end in sight.

8. He might ‘lock her up’

During the presidential debate, Trump said to Clinton that she would be in jail if he was running the country. While her supporters weep openly, gleeful Trump fans chant “lock her up.”

9. The UK will stop being the laughingstock

When Brexit happened, we all thought it was Apocalypse Now. We said to ourselves “how on earth did this happen?” Well, it’s happened again, and in the words of Trump himself, it’s “Brexit plus plus.” America has reclaimed its role as political laughingstock of the world (even though it’s not funny at all).

10. He’s not a joke anymore 

Since that first video of Trump emerging down the escalator with paid supporters behind him, replicating a scene from The Simpsons, he has been treated as a joke, a prank gone wrong. It should have been hilarious – his hair, the memes, the way he spoke. We can’t treat him as a joke any more, and laughter is no longer the best medicine.

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