Britain, Britain, Britain.
We don’t often live up to our stereotype of bad teeth and horrible hair – unlike our American friends across the pond. I mean, we produced Harry Styles, did we not?! However, sometimes summer brings out the worst in us Brits. Our fashion goes a bit doolally, as well as our brains from drinking too much Pimms in the sun.
Now, this brief ‘heatwave’ we have every year is exciting, granted that. But we need to hold on to our chill and not freak out when the country reaches 30 degrees. Lets just all get an ice lolly in our gobs and remain calm, not break out the Jesus sandals and the flagons of cider..
1. ‘Wife beater’ vests
You have to be very good looking rockstar-esk person to be able to pull off a vest, especially if it’s white.
Otherwise beer bellies, bald heads and cigarettes come to mind, right?
2. Socks and sandals
An obvious one.
A classic British combination. But it’s hard to figure out what’s worse – socks and sandals or crocs?
3. The sun burn tee
Not even an Item of clothing, but still counts.
That eye burning ugly crime of obtaining ‘farmers tan’ from being in the sun a few days, probably without sun screen.
Mark mate, you need to even that shit out.
4. Three Quarters
Either get your pins out or stick to your jeans. This isn’t the 90’s.
Get those fucking horrific things from around your calves and promise to never shop in GAP again.
5. It’s more about what we don’t wear.
Walking around with their tops off ”oh look at my amazing body”.
We don’t need to be reminded that we haven’t even re-joined the gym yet. Our summer bodies are being postponed till next year..
Although having said that, people who walk round the shops with their top off and beer belly out. Quite a dad thing right?
DADS – YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. STOP PLEASE.
Wow, look at this double whammy – socks and sandals and a beer belly, wow.
6. Cringe tee’s
Sorry dads, we’re after you again. You should not be able to wear any t shirts with cringe slogans on.
And Tesco men’s wear department, get a grip.
