Relationships on social media can be sickly at the best of time but everyone prepare yourselves because tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.
FUBAR has come up with a list of things to be aware of tomorrow featuring the most annoying things that will haunt your social media feed for the next 24 hours.
1. Gross Pet Names
When guys start referring to girls as their ‘princess’ and ‘baby girl’ thinking Valentine’s Day is an excuse to do this, it is time to GET OUT.
No one needs that, no one needs to see or hear that. MAKE IT STOP.
2. Lengthy Love Professing Posts
Just wait for those long-ass Instagram posts that every person in a relationship feels they need to post about their S.O.
Maybe turn it into a drinking bingo game and every time you read the words, ‘my world’, ‘my everything’, ‘thick and thin’, ‘one and only’, ‘best friend’ and ‘soul mate’ have a shot.
And don’t forget to prepare the sick bucket.
3. Over-Use Of Double Snapchat Filters
When Snapchat introduced the double filter, did they not foresee the chaos they would cause on the most unnecessary day of the year?
Cue couples trying to compete in the ‘who is the most in love’ contest by using the stupid double dog filter and turning it into the biggest dickhead competition.
4. People Thinking Their Other Halves Are Gordon Ramsay
Instagram has enough people posting what they had for lunch with no one giving two fucks without being encouraged to do so.
So obviously Valentine’s Day ups that one and we get double the food posts with two of everything on heart shaped plates with candles and flowers and breakfast in bed and girls thinking they’ve bagged themselves a good’un because their partner cooked dinner on one day of the year. Even then they’ve probably cheated and got that dine in for two meal deal from Marks and Spencer.
Social media is no stranger to excessive PDA and Valetine’s Day is the biggest enabler of this.
We advise it is best to avoid social media at all times during the hours of February 14.
No one wants to see a gross Instagram Boomerangs of couples kissing on loop.
6. Forgetting That Their Relationship Actually Sucks For 24 Hours
Everyone knows those people who for this one day of the year try and convince the rest of us they don’t constantly argue and aren’t more on and off than a light switch.
These people deserve Oscars for the Valentine’s Day performances they put on.
7. Single People Being Single & Depressing, Pretending They DGAF
Watch out for the classic single person posting something about having a date with two of their favourite guys, Ben and Jerry.
Or that person who pretends they’re completely fine while frantically searching Tinder for the remaining people left who aren’t already on a Valentine’s Day hook up.
8. Quoting Shitty Romance Movies
Those people who post about their boyfriend/girlfriend by quoting The Notebook as if it’s the most original, romantic display of affection going.
Life is not a Nicholas Sparks’ novel.
9. Parading Around With Ridiculously Expensive Gifts
The idiots who think that splashing the cash on this day is the most loving thing to do when really it’s just giving into the commercialisation of the day it originates from.
We’re taking bets for the amount of posts that we come across where “bae” has got you a Michael Kors watch and spent a fortune on surge priced flowers.
No. Just no.