Britain is in uproar at one of the most dramatic political turn of events – Theresa May is to be our next PM. Tomorrow. Yes, it’s all moving that fast.
This has all happened without us having a say. Brexit has caused the politicians to flee the scene of the crime faster than we can say ‘twats’. Theresa May is going to announce she is going to do what’s best and clean up the country, but that’s what any PM would have to do. Then what?
The future of British politics is still so uncertain. It’s a lot less tense now Brexit has happened. But now we’re like a nation of kids, lost in Asda looking for a parent. King twat Nigel Farage, the main push behind the leave campaign, has left UKIP so the party are looking for a new leader. Any Volunteers? Didn’t think so.
Angela Eagle has gone on one hell of a power trip, yet no one’s giving a shit. She’s constantly slagging off Corbyn, just like the trash talk that goes on before a boxing match. Jezza is just trying to get his shit together and evidently can’t be bothered with Angela. Well, neither can we to be honest. The people of Facebook made their opinion on Eagle clear yesterday when they hijacked her Facebook page – there is currently just over 23,000 comments on one picture.
In the words of the Green Party, it’s all a bit childish isn’t it?
We find us asking ourselves, does anybody – in the whole world – actually want Theresa May as our next prime minister? Surely there must be someone else?
We’ve devised a list of people who would be a better as prime minister than who people are calling ‘Thatcher 2.0’.
1. Manuel from Fawlty Towers
2. Darth Vader
We’d rather take the risk of the universe blowing up than having Theresa as our PM
3. Dr Evil
4. Stewie Griffin
Interest in politics would shoot though the roof with the risk of the word cunt slipping out during every speech.
6. Joey Essex
He probably can’t even spell London.
7. Gary Glitter
Slightly better public opinion and track record. He’d fit right in.
8. A taco.
Not even a person, could still run the country better.