Since the news broke about well-done toast being a cause of cancer, everyone’s most important meal of the day is at risk.
What do we turn to now, cereal? Nope, that also has deadly consequences too.
A classic full English? Think again, that brings up a whole lot of stuff that can put us all in an early grave.
And if you’re thinking about something that is supposedly a bit more healthy, then you may have to give that one a rethink too…
Take a look at FUBAR’s Most Ridiculous Things That Come With A Death Warning.
1. Facebook
The lack of face-to-face contact increases the risk of cancer apparently, but it does mean you don’t actually have to talk to people that aren’t actually your friends so there’s pros and cons.
2. Sun cream
This one’s a bit ironic isn’t it? WHERE IS THE TRUTH?
3. Shaving
So we all just have to pull off the au naturel look from now on.
4. Broken heart
As if a broken heart didn’t suck enough, supposedly you can actually die from one.
5. Dads
That’s right, just having a Dad can increase risk of deadly diseases in daughters. Probably more at risk of embarrassing their kids to death.
6. Snow globes
Canadians were confused to find that their snow globes came with a cancer warning label. That’s Christmas cancelled then.
7. Oral sex
Keep up the smoking and binge drinking because apparently oral sex produces a higher risk of cancer than the both of them. Steak and Blowjob day is under serious threat.
8. Flip-flops
You must wear closed shoes at all times. Beware of the killer flip-flops.
9. Superfoods
Fuck being healthy for 2017. Superfoods such as broccoli & blueberries cause more cancer than they have prevented.
10. Oxygen
Not even going to try and explain this one, just stop breathing and you’ll be fine.
